Today, I'll go about my business without trying to think too much. I will celebrate this day with dinner at 4:00 with my father-in-law (my hubby has to work until six). He is the father of my first husband. For those of you who don't know, my first husband passed away six and a half years ago at the age of 40. It was very sudden and very shocking but myself and our three young sons made it through with the support and love of family and friends. My father stepped in to help with the boys. He attended their sporting events, took them to the mall, gave them hugs and came to visit "just because." This was a very big thing for my father because he wasn't really known for that when we were growing up. I always said that his grandchildren were reaping the benefits of a kinder, gentler Grandpop.
Almost a year to the day that my husband passed, my father passed out in a local deli. We were told it was some kind of heart event but not a heart attack. The police defibrillated him and got him breathing again but his brain had been deprived of oxygen for too long and he was severely brain-damaged. We held vigil at his bed for 10 days knowing that he was going to die. He passed away at the age of 59. Again, my life was turned upside down. My father and I were just starting to scratch the surface of our relationship. He had just retired, bought a fishing boat and had a grandson named for him. It's five and a half years later and I could still cry a river when I think about it.
When my father was in that hospital bed I talked to him a lot. It's said that your sense of hearing is the last to go so we made sure that everyone that came to see him spoke to him. We laughed and reminisced and my sisters and I heard stories of his childhood from his cousins. We celebrated his life while he was still with us.
On one of the rare moments that I got to spend alone with him I told him that after losing my husband and now my father within a year of each other "I had better get a good man out of the deal." Those were my exact words and, little did I know, the plans were already being put into motion for exactly that. Almost a year to the day after that conversation, I met Jim.
From day one, Jim embraced the boys and John's family and they did the same in return. My mother-in-law passed away last year and this has brought us even closer to John's dad. Also, last year we had our baby girl and even though she and my father-in-law aren't related by blood there is a bond there that is so strong it makes me teary just thinking about it. God is good.
My wish is for everyone that is feeling a sense of sadness today for the loss of their father. I hope that they will think about the joyful times and not the fact that they're no longer here in physical form. There is such a thin veil that separates us from them. They are always with us and listening to us. I take great comfort in this. I still cry but can smile while I do it. Yes, God is good.
Many blessings ~ Wendy
