Keeping it Real . . .

I've sat down and started this post numerous times but always seemed to get side-tracked in the vortex of house selling and buying each time I begin to write!!  I keep reminding myself to breathe and let go of the outcome.  I'm better at it now then I was a couple of weeks ago when I was in the midst of so much anxiety I felt like I was ready to fall into a puddle on the floor.  I've been struggling with anxiety on and off for the last couple of years.  It came out of nowhere when I had to have a root canal done and basically had my first ever panic attack in the dentist's chair and left with my mouth still numb and still in need of a root canal.  I'm the person that never understood why people would freak out over what I thought was not something you should really be freaking out over.  I have friends and relatives that suffer from anxiety on many different levels.  I had been on medication after my husband passed away.  Something very mild that made me feel like I could be happy again despite losing my husband and suddenly being a single mom to three young children.  After I went off of that medication I was fine until the root canal and then all hell broke loose.  It's hard for me to talk about and I haven't said anything before now because I think there's some kind of stigma attached to taking medication and in "blog world" you try to keep it light and happy.  It's not always light and happy though and I truly respect bloggers who talk about the bad as well as the good.  Bloggers who keep it real.

My doctor and I made the decision that I should go back on medication.  If I told you I didn't feel a sense of defeat I'd be lying.  It took me so long to get off of the meds I was taking after my husband passed.  Unfortunately, the first new medication she put me on made me feel worse.  I kept hearing and reading on line that you have to give it time to completely take full effect.  I waited and waited for almost 7 weeks and then I couldn't do it anymore.  I switched doctors and she found the right medication for me.  It's only been a couple of days but I'm already starting to feel like me again.  My reality today is that I have a chemical imbalance.  It's not just "all in my mind" so to speak.  It's real and it's scary as hell.  The thoughts that go thru your mind are scary as hell.  I knew HAPPY Wendy was in there some place because I would catch glimpses of her every so often and then she was gone.  I know this is a hard thing for people to talk about but I wanted to share my experience just in case there is anyone out there experiencing something similar.  I'm here for you if you want to talk to someone that will not stand in judgement.

I'm sorry for such a heavy post today.  My intention for this post was to give an update on our house situation but I guess I felt the need to share something different and I had to go with it.  The house stuff can wait.  : )


Many blessings for a beautiful and happy day ~ Wendy

A House Update and a Sunday Saying . . .

Things have been so busy around here.  Every moment of the day seems to be focused on getting our house ready to be put on the market.  It looks like we're coming down the homestretch finally.  Hurray!!  Still on the "To Do" list is painting, finishing up the addition of  new trim, staging the new room that Jim built, etc., etc.  Time and money have run thin.  We don't want to give potential buyers too much leverage when it comes to money.  I so dislike that everything always comes down to money.  It can make you lose sight of the beauty and magic that is going on around you that is going to lead you to the next step of your life.  I had a few days of sitting on the "pity pot" last week.  My husband talked me out of it.  They say that buying and selling a home can be a huge stress on a marriage but it hasn't been the case with us.  It's actually been wonderful so far.  I've come to appreciate Jim all the more seeing what his hands have built.  He has made our visions come into fruition.  AND, not sure if I mentioned this or not, he got the job that he interviewed for last month.  No more commuting into Manhattan and getting up at 3 am!!!  Happy day!!!  It's all good stuff and I'm excited for the coming months to see what the Universe has up its' sleeve for us.  : )

I'm hoping to start blogging more regularly again.  I've been outside taking photos and enjoying the gorgeous weather we've been having the last few days before the heat and humidity creep in again. I hope you're all enjoying your holiday weekend (if you're in the states)!!!  : )

A quote I read this morning on Facebook that I wanted to share . . .

I really love this.  It definitely strikes a chord with me!!!


Many blessings for a happy and safe Sunday ~ Wendy

Letting Go and a Very Special Thank You . . .

On Saturday,  my honey and I spent almost three hours in Home Depot.  With long list in hand, we wandered the aisles looking for the remains of what we need to finish getting our house listed for sale.  It's starting to get real for me.  I've begun packing away all of the family photos and knick knacks that have sentimental value to me.  Our realtor told us this enables potential buyers to come in and envision where they would put their own personal things.  It's also helping me to detach from my home of almost 15 years.  

Some pretty pops of colorful flowers at Home Depot.

I have to admit I'm a little sad to be leaving.  I have a lot of memories connected to this little house of ours.  My first husband and I bought it together.  We brought our third born son home to this house.  I look out our front window and see the beautiful Japanese maple tree he planted  not long before he passed away suddenly four years after we moved in.  We were embraced by our little community when he passed and I can't begin to put into words how eternally grateful I am for that.

Six years later, with my new husband, undoubtedly sent from above, we brought home our sweet baby girl to this house. I've watched our two older boys grow from young boys to young men here.

Waiting to go in for my c-section.

So many beautiful memories that I'll always carry with me.  But I know in my heart, it's time to move on and make new memories in our new home.  It will be the first home that Jim and I purchase together.  It will be a new chapter in our lives and I'm so excited for that.  New places to photograph, new friends to meet, new friends for the kids to meet.  I'll be closer to my family and still only a half hour away from all that we have now.  : )

Speaking of new friends . . .

My wonderful new friend and fellow blogger, Lorraine, of  Mama's Mercantile , sent Megan this beautiful daisy headband that she made all the way from England.  I saw it on her blog and Megan happened to be looking over my shoulder at the time.  She said she LOVED it!!!  I commented to Lorraine about Megan's reaction and she generously offered to make one for her. 
 

She is one happy little girl and has worn it every day since we received it!!!  Thank you from the bottom of our heart, Lorraine!!!!  You are the best!!!!  We loved the handmade card, too!!!!  XOXO

 Many blessings for a beautiful Tuesday ~ Wendy

Easter Goodies at Jones' Farm . . .

Spring has arrived at Jones' Farm along with lots of wonderful Easter goodies.  I wanted to share some of them so you can see why we love visiting there so much!!

I fell in love with these adorable little chicks and ended up bringing two of them home with me.

Some hand-crocheted eggs and chicks.

Not for Easter but I fell in love with the hippo in the middle!!!

I really loved this faux jellybean and chocolate  bunny garland.

 And these don't really have anything to do with Easter but I thought they were great!!!

We had a brilliantly gorgeous day here in New York today!!!  I drove into the city to pick up Jakhai and he'll be staying with us thru next week.  The windows are open and there's a nice breeze coming thru without it being too cold.  There's lots going on at the house.  Hammering and sawing, packing and soon to be painting.  I feel the winds of change in the air and I'm feeling a little excited about it.  We hope to have the house listed some time in May.  My cousin (also our realtor) has given us our final TO DO list and it's a long one but we're up for the challenge for sure!!!  : )


Many blessings for a beautiful day ~ Wendy

Outside and Inside . . .

It's a beautiful day here in New York today.  Still a bit too cold to open the windows but the sun is feeling warmer and the snow is melting slowly but surely.  It's supposed to be close to 60 degrees by Thursday.  Mother Nature really likes to play tricks on us in the month of March so I'm not completely convinced we're out of the woods yet but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.  : )

Seeing our grass for the first time since January.

Happy little gnomes soaking up the sun.

Buddha and a patch of snow in our front garden.

My wonderful in-laws from Tennessee have come and gone in a whirlwind of sawdust and sheet rock.  We had such a nice visit.  Way too short but so much was accomplished.  My father in law is a work horse. If you want something done, he's your man.  He's no spring chicken anymore but he really could outwork somebody half his age.  There is still so much to be done but I thought I'd share some "befores and afters" of what's been done so far.

This room was a crafting area and computer room for me before the renovation started.  Our realtor told us we could increase the value of our house if we updated it and added a shower to the bathroom.  Jim put in a whole new bathroom all by himself.  I haven't taken "after" photos of it yet because there are a couple of finishing touches that still need to be added. 

Looking down into the room after it's been torn apart before the work started.  Can you spot my orange kitty, Finnegan??

New insulation was added.  The window on the left was the bathroom window before Jim changed the location of the bathroom.  We were going to close up the window but instead we're going to put a simple little blind over it.  It would be too much work trying to find matching siding for the outside of the house if the window was covered up.

New sheet rock was added after the insulation was put in.

The old ceiling and fixtures were taken down so that all new electricity could be run. 

A new ceiling was put in place and new fixtures will be next.  There's also now a place for a ceiling fan. 

This is what the floor looked like before.  It wasn't quite this bad before the work started but bad nonetheless.

This is with the new floor.  Now we're debating on whether to put in carpeting or a wood floor.  I am dreading mud season with two dogs going in and out that back door on a new carpet so I think we will go with the wood.  A sane wife/mother is a happy wife/mother!!!!  : )

Finnegan looking up at me from the bottom of the stairs.  : )

As you can see, there's still so much left to be done but it's taking shape nicely.  Jim has next week off and hopes to finish it then.  Meanwhile, I've been working on packing up some of my tchotchkes (not sure if I spelled it correctly!!) and things that I know I don't need right now.  All winter, we've talked about putting the house on the market in the spring.  Now that spring is officially here, it's scarey and exciting all at once.  So much to be done and limited time to do it all.  One day at a time, right??  : )


Many blessings for a very happy Monday ~ Wendy