Sunday Sayings . . .

It's been a crazy week around here.  School ended.  Our friends moved in with us until my husband and my friend's husband finish ripping out their bathroom and putting a new one in.  Their house is has been having lots of problems lately and horrible mold has been showing up in their bathroom.  They found lots of leaks behind the walls and pipes not up to code and, long story short, decided it would be best to take everything apart and start from scratch.  My honey knows how to build a house from the ground up so he and our friend are doing the work themselves.  In the meantime, there are two very happy seven year olds that are thrilled to be having a week long sleep over.  : )  The mamas are holding up well but this mama doesn't do well without "alone" time and that's been next to impossible.  This is the first time I've had a chance to even go on my blog while they're all at the playground.  It's been going very well and we'd honestly do anything for our friends.  We know they feel the same way about us and, these days, honest and caring and happy people seem harder to find. It's amazing to me how the Universe puts people in your life when you seem to need them the most.

Amazing grace!!

Wishing you a beautiful week ahead!!  xo

~ Wendy

Inside . . .

I had more to share but for some reason my computer suddenly won't download my latest photos off of my camera.  I've mixed some old decorations with some new ones.  The ceramic pumpkins above were made by my mother in law who was my first husband's mother.  She unfortunately passed away a couple of years after John.  I know she would've made one for Megan if she was still alive.  She passed a few months before Megan was born but lived long enough for us to tell her we were having a girl.  She always wanted a granddaughter and, even though Megan wouldn't have been her blood granddaughter, I know she would've embraced her the same way my father in law has ever since the day she was born.  Amazing grace.  : )


~ Wendy

Right Where I was Supposed to Be . . .

While we were in Georgia we visited a church that has become known as "Sophia's Church" in the world of Walking Dead fans.  It's the church where the group looked for Sophia after hearing a church bell in the distance.  Sophia was the daughter of one of the main characters, Carol, and she had been separated from the group when a huge group of "walkers" came thru.  If you're not a fan then I know you're scratching your head right now.  Lol!!  Anyway, we had heard about this church and wanted to see it.  The church was a pretty little church but it was the old cemetery behind it that I fell in love with.  It ended up being one of my favorite parts of our whole vacation. 

Jim stayed in the car with the kids so I was able to walk around peacefully and uninterrupted.  While he was in the car I noticed another car pulled into the church lot as well.  It ended up being a young girl from upstate New York who had recently moved to the area to go to college.  She had her sister and mom with her and was showing them some of the different Walking Dead locations because they were huge fans as well.  She told Jim that at the top of the cemetery there was an Indian burial ground.  When they were filming in the cemetery, the actor who plays Glen requested that there be someone on hand to make sure nothing was being done to upset the graves in that part of the cemetery.  He told people he got a very strong feeling of their presence and wanted to show them the utmost respect.  I thought this was beautiful.  I have to tell you that I too felt a strong presence there.  Like I was being watched.  It didn't scare me.  Instead, I felt a sense of honor to be able to walk among their spirits.  Something that I will never forget. 

Below are photos of the burial ground.  No headstones.  Just rocks sticking out of the ground as markers to where they were buried.

 Jim spotted the grave below.  It wasn't marked. 

 A soldier from the War of 1812.

A view of the back of the church.

I felt such a presence in this cemetery and, while walking thru, I felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be at that moment in time.  I also couldn't help but wonder if I had been buried there at the end of some other lifetime.  After we left, we got about a half mile up the road and Megan spotted this out her window.

 Amazing Grace.


Many blessings ~ Wendy

Birthday Wishes and a Sunday Saying . . .

Today our beautiful, sweet, sassy, kind, funny and smart girl turns five.  FIVE!!  So hard to believe!!  She's the cherry on top of our cake that has made our family complete.  I never thought I'd have a fourth child let alone a baby girl.  She has taught me so many life lessons in the five short years since she's been a part of our family.  After three boys, a girl is a whole other Universe!!!

My beautiful Megan Grace.  I love you with all of my heart and soul.  You are truly a gift from above and I honor your presence in my life.  Amazing Grace.

Many blessings for a beautiful Sunday ~ Wendy

A Busy Day . . .

After a day of being stuck inside due to pouring rain and wind, we were happy to jump into the car and take a road trip to my Mom's little cottage in the woods to help her celebrate her birthday.  It was a chilly but gorgeous day, filled with lots of sunshine and blue skies!!

The kids are off from school for spring break this week and our "adopted" son, Jakhai (our Fresh Air Fund child who has been a part of our lives for almost 4 years now!!!  So hard to believe!!!) is staying with us for the week.  Brendan and Jakhai are joined at the hip when they're together.  It truly is a beautiful thing to see.

The Universe works in the most incredible of ways and it certainly worked its' magic the day our family was introduced to Jakhai's family.  Amazing Grace at its' finest!!!  : )


Many blessings for a Thursday filled with Amazing Grace ~ Wendy

Sunday Sayings (a long but heartfelt post that I needed to write). . .

" . . .  Stranger still is how the very core issues we avoid return, sometimes with different faces, but still, we are brought full circle to them, again and again.  Regardless of how we may try to skip over or sidestep what we need to face, we humbly discover that no other threshold is possible until we use our courage to open the door before us.  Perhaps the oldest working truth of self-discovery is that the only way out is through.  That we are returned repeatedly to the same circumstance is not always a sign of avoidance, but can mean our work around that certain issue is not done. "

~ The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo


I have been suffering from a toothache for more than two weeks now.  I was told by my dentist that I needed a root canal.  The pain has been very intense and, at times, almost unbearable even with medication.  The day after I was told I needed a root canal I contacted the endodontist that was recommended by my regular dentist since he didn't normally do root canals on back teeth.  Tooth #19 to be exact.  I will never, ever forget that number.  The next day, I drove to the Dr.'s office and as soon as I entered I felt an immediate sense of anxiety.  I do get a little nervous when I go to the dentist but it was nothing like the anxiety I felt upon entering that office.  It's actually kind of difficult for me to even write about it as I start to feel this now all too familiar feeling of fear and anxiety come up.  I was able to sit in the chair and even get the shots of novocaine that were needed.  When the dentist laid me back flat to do the work I started to have what I guess was my first ever panic attack.  I sat up and started to cry.  My heart was racing.  I went into "fight or flight" mode and I couldn't talk myself out of it.  I even called my husband from the dental chair crying. I couldn't go thru with it.  The dentist and her assistant were so incredibly sweet and understanding and even walked me out and sat and talked with me for a little while before I mustered up the strength to drive home.  I left there knowing I had to still have the procedure done but also knowing it couldn't be with this dentist.  This was the beginning of three days of anxiety that enveloped my entire being.  Every time I felt a tinge of pain or thought about having to go back to the dentist I wanted to crawl into the fetal position in my bed or else jump out of my skin.

On Friday, I visited my homeopath and she prescribed a couple of remedies for me to help with the anxiety.  I was referred to another dentist by a couple of friends who also had anxiety issues over root canals and said he had helped them immensely.  I made an appointment for yesterday morning.  Friday night I had a decent night's sleep until about 4 am when I woke up in a complete panic.  I sat up in my bed.  I prayed.  I meditated.  I so desperately needed to connect with Divinity and know that I would be okay.  My husband woke up and we talked for a while and he put my mind somewhat at ease.  He asked me why I thought I was having so much anxiety.  Several things came to mind.  Fear of the unknown (first time having a root canal), fear of not being able to breath when they laid me back in the chair and fear that the pain would still be there afterwards.  He validated for me what I was feeling instead of telling me I was making a mountain out of a mole hill which was how I was starting to feel.

Saturday morning I got up, took a shower, put on my makeup, got dressed and tried to keep my mind clear.  My husband and I drove to the office where we were met by the sweetest receptionist and dental assistant.  I held it together until they laid me back to do an xray and then panic set in.  Not as bad as in the other office (thanks to the remedy I was prescribed) but still panic nonetheless.  The dentist came in and began to talk with me.  He asked me what I had done to take care of my toothache up until that point.  I told him about my experience a few days earlier and he then asked me what made me think I could get thru it with him.  I told him I honestly didn't know.  He had a very matter-of-fact personality which, for some people, might be hard to deal with but happens to be something that I love.  He assured me that he wouldn't lay me flat and that I would be able to breath.  I think I've become much more claustrophobic as I've gotten older.  My husband opened the window for me which I think was the biggest part of me being able to handle all of this.  I felt cold air blowing on me the whole time and that helped me TREMENDOUSLY.  The dentist told me what he was going to do and what to expect as he was working on me and I was finally able to find my center for the first time in days.  I have to go back on Friday for him to fill the canals that were cleaned out but I know what to expect now.  My husband will be with me again.  If I told you I don't have any anxiety right now I'd be lying.  I still have pain in an upper tooth and I'm praying it's transferred pain from where the root canal was done but I'm not so sure.  It's a tooth that just had a huge filling replaced and the dentist commented that it was very close to the root.  I've never had dental problems like this before and, quite frankly, I HATE IT which kind of brings me back to why I chose the quote that I did for today.

While looking for a glimpse of hope to rid myself of anxiety before my procedure, I opened up one of the books on my nightstand.  It's called "The Book of Awakening" by Mark Nepo.  It's a book of daily passages of wisdom to "have the life you want by being present to the life you have."  For some reason,  I turned to February 4th's passage and read it.  It contained the quote above.  " . . . the only way out is through" stuck with me and gave me a sense of peace.  When I realized that I had read the wrong day's passage,  I knew instantly that was the Divinity that I was so desperately in need of.  Amazing Grace.


Many blessings for a Sunday filled with peace and love ~ Wendy

Some Exciting News . . .

I've really been neglecting my little blog. Sometimes I just don't feel like I have anything exciting to write about. Today, though, I have some exciting news. We went back for our 3D sonogram and it looks like we are definitely going to be having a little girl in May. She didn't want to cooperate at first but finally, at the very end of our sono, she decided to move her hands away from her face and we got to see what looked like a smile.

I am going to predict now that she will look a lot like her daddy. He and his sister have wonderful bone structure and a cute little nose and my guess is that she's going to carry on the Valentine gene and have the same features. Both of my sister in law's boys have those features as does my brother in law's little boy. I guess it must be a very dominant kind of gene. : )

Don't tell anyone but we let the two younger boys miss school to attend the sono. I thought it was educational for them so I guess it's not such a bad thing for them to miss school. They were excited (probably more so that they were missing school!!) and showed a lot of interest for the first half hour. They lasted a lot longer than I thought they were going to!! : ) For those of you who have never experienced a 3D sonogram, it's so much more exciting than your regular, run-of-the-mill sono. Ours was up on a huge screen so the boys were really able to make out what we were seeing. They would go up to the screen and point out body parts and laugh when she moved around. And, best of all, I had a great view as opposed to getting a kink in my neck trying to look at the little sono screen you have for a "normal" sono.

This was a much more pleasant experience than our last sono so we're very happy and have lots of pictures to look at until we get to see her again. I can't tell you how blessed I feel to be having this new baby. I never thought that I'd have another child and my husband never thought that he'd ever have a biological child. Now he'll have three sons and a baby girl. Amazing Grace. : )

Many blessings ~ Wendy

I'm Lovin' this Weather and I Have Some Special News to Tell You . . .

It's 40 something degrees here right now. The wind is getting a little bit breezy and the rain is coming down. I AM IN MY GLORY!!! I have errands to run but am still in my jammies. It's after 11:30 in the morning. After the boys all got off to school, I put my head down on the couch and fell asleep again for a little while. I've been wide awake at bedtime but very tired in the morning. I haven't said anything yet here because it's still pretty early on. And I apologize to friends and family that read my blog that don't know yet and are finding out here for the first time ~ we are expecting a new baby. We found out on my husband's birthday, September 25th. My husband has no biological children of his own. It seems like God was preparing him for three sons his whole life, though. He has become an incredible father to the boys and has told me many times that he couldn't love them anymore than if they were his own.

When Jim and I started dating and knew it was getting serious we talked about having another child. Honestly, I wasn't so sure how I felt about it. I was just turning 40 when we met and I didn't know if I wanted to start over again. I have big babies and c-sections. I love my sleep. My kids are very independent now. I love my sleep. I don't need to pay babysitters anymore. When we go to the beach every summer I actually can relax and have a good time without chasing kids around. And, most of all, I love my sleep. : )

I also didn't like having the power in my hands of being the one to tell someone that they can or can't have a child in this lifetime. That was the biggest part of this whole decision for me. Jim left it up to me and said he would honestly be fine either way. If you know Jim you know that he tells the truth all the time. Sometimes a little too much. : )

There is a whole lot more to this story but I want to save that for after we see the doctor tomorrow and know that everything is okay. So far, this pregnancy is very different from my first three. Next to no nausea, lots more fatigue and definite mood swings as my husband and sons will attest to. Sorry guys. This, too, shall pass!!

I feel good and happy and emotional and can cry at the drop of a hat and am going to enjoy every minute of this journey because this is the last time I plan on taking it. I'll be 43 when this baby is born. How the hell did I get to be almost 43?!!? I figure this baby will either keep me really young or else make me feel really old. Either way, he or she will be coming into a family filled with laughter, joy, yelling and screaming, neighborhood kids traipsing (don't think I spelled that correctly) in and out all the time, cats, dogs, dust, crazy schedules, a father that's never changed a dirty diaper before, a mother who will be fighting his/her father for toe nibbling time (Jim and I are both still obsessed with Brendan's feet and he's seven!!) and more love than anyone could hope for.

Amazing Grace.

Many blessings ~ Wendy

The adorable picture above is by Anne Geddes.