It's hard to believe that a week has gone by since I blogged last. I had several relatives come up to me at my uncle's funeral and tell me that they read my blog and that they've passed it along to other friends or relatives. I'm so glad that we can stay connected in this way. Everybody is just so busy with their everyday lives that one day goes into the next and, before you know it, it's a week or a month or a year later. As sad as it was that my uncle passed, it was such a good feeling to be able to see family that I haven't seen since the last wedding or funeral. All of my "little cousins" are now my peers. They are starting their own families or dating potential life partners or finishing college or high school. And what a good looking bunch they are, too!!
Tonite is the first of three fundrasiers being held for my sister this week. Last nite I went and handed in the money I had collected for tickets and bracelets that are being sold for her. I got to hold a six week old baby and even gave her a bottle while her parents worked diligently in preparation for these events. There are no words to describe what I witnessed last nite. A number of friends and my brother in law's siblings have formed a committee (I've written about it here before I believe) that is called S.O.S. ~ short for Supporting Our Stephanie. I watched as they rolled up hundreds of shirts and wrapped them in a bracelet for sale at each fundraising event. My sister designed the shirts and they are wonderful. Every person had a job to do and it was all in the name of my sister. People walked in and dropped off monies collected the whole time I was there. I have no idea what time they got out of the meeting but I have a feeling it wasn't much before 11 pm. It was very emotional seeing all that was going on and, to be honest, I sat in my car and cried for a few minutes before driving home. I cried for the enormousy of all of this. I cried for the generosity of people in our community as well as surrounding communities. I cried for the memories of how our community embraced the boys and I when John passed away. I had gone to the meeting with the intention of joining the committee but I think it's better if I help out in a roundabout way. I had anxiety in the pit of my stomach when I left there and still had it when I woke up this morning. I've figured out what was causing it and it's just better for me to be here for Steph in other ways. It's interesting how you think you have a handle on things and then old stuff pops up and shows you that things are still hiding right there, just below the surface. I'm sure that holds true for many, many people. You place your sorrows in a box and put them on a shelf where you think they'll be safely tucked away and most of the time they are. But then BAM!! You're blindsided and that's it. The floodgates open as do the old wounds. I don't think old wounds ever truly go away. Do they?
Many blessings ~ Wendy